Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Black hole in your life?



You are at peace, but your life is running. And the peace-in-parts that you have inside is running for life.

“Could you please stop crying now” – It sounded something less than consoling. The mind said it is a request, the heart claimed, it is said with irritation, the peace inside told me to take it calmly and the life that kept running, way ahead of time, well, it did not bothered to stop anyway.

Wouldn’t you agree more to the state of mind, where you feel like you have little people inside your brain, working in their little cubicles?
In my mind, well, these people are working on different files in order to complete every possible thinkable task around and what do I get as the end product? – A bowl full of chaotic noodles!

I was crying, and I wanted to know as to what is it that I am trying to find an answer for.  Is it my career? Or my future? Something to do with my job that I quit?
I couldn’t understand any part of it, until, I felt the urge to talk to someone.
Ok, who should I talk to?
WAIT!! That is it. I found it.

And then, it felt like, all the tiny little people inside my head went for a vacation. It was there, in front of me.

That was the first time when I had to check who all are online and out of the available ones, who are worth talking to. But, you cannot always arrange tequila in response to the lemons, offered on a silver plate by life!

But something happened.

“Hey, check this out” – read a ping, by a friend with some link of some recent post he wrote.
With the entire burden in my head, I opened it, read a few lines and realized, my life offered me tequila as well, I just forgot to look behind those big lemons.
The post was for me. A dedicated post.
Some appreciation that I was looking forward to. Something, that made me smile. Something that made the rest of my day bright and colourful, which otherwise went dull.

What a better way of looking at it from a different perspective altogether!
What a better way to be told that you are special!

A little later, it happened again. “So, how was your day?” – read another ping while I was being ecstatic in my own bundle of joy.  This friend remembered I had an important thing at work today, and he made sure he asked about it.
Who wouldn’t feel nice about it? To be acknowledged, to be known, to be just, someone!

Was I being pulled inside the very black hole that I created myself?
Do we all overlook the little packets of happiness and joy that moments give us?

Even the people in my head cursed me, for I cancelled their vacation and called them back.

And then, as the day ended, I felt the sadness creep in again.
But wait, there was yet another surprise! A midnight call from a friend that I thought, is just a friend. The call had all the ingredients she and I needed the most. Those thirty minutes of sheer gossip and practicalities of life made me feel even more available in my own world.

The black hole started to shrink. It defied science.
My life was still running, only this time, I matched its pace, with my peace.

10 comments:

  1. I luv ur flow of thoughts! Nice :))

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  2. awesome thoughts..created well with blend of monotonous job and "not a quitter" attitude!! you just represented an intelligent class of IT ppl who know work sucks but still life is just not work .. It reminds me of a phrase created by me :p.. "We work for a better life , We don't live for a better work" .. thanks for such a nice flow of thoughts , all my depression about working at so called client's place is vanished...will keep following your peaceful stories!!! keep it up

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  3. Brij

    It really brings peace to me when people can relate to what I write.
    The pressure of IT takes away your soul and gets back at you with such 'soul-less' thoughts. :p
    Thanks for appreciating.

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  4. Hey Nidhi,
    I'm just a random reader. Went through a couple of ur posts and found them really good to read ( take it as a compliment). Could relate paticularly to this post of urs. I guess just the wrong time for people of our age :P.
    Just wanted to tell u that it was pleasure reading your posts but somewhere in between I just had a feeling that u restrained urself by not writing what u actually felt, its ur blog man go ahead a write what u feel. Who cares bout this world. But that's just what I think.

    Keep writing coz u really enjoy doing it.

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  5. Hey Harshit

    I am touched and flattered with the response you gave. This post in particular is something I wrote with my heart out.
    I'll definitely consider your suggestion.
    Thanks again for bucking up.
    Cheers!

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  6. Hi Nidhi

    I really enjoyed the post. Wish I could have my way with words like you do!

    P.S - I fed the fish. Twice.

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  7. Nidhi !!

    That's human instinct.. desire of being heard.. being emotionally attached to someone who cares.. someone who understands.. someone who empathizes with us !! And today Social media coupled with IT revolution has made all kind of communication possible but only requirement is the 'will' and 'frame of mind' to initiate conversation..
    A beautiful portrayal of an idle mind in conflict with circumstances beyond one's control...
    Keep on writing.. Straight from heart..

    regards

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  8. Hey MV!

    The reply is great. A reply, which I have been looking for. Thanks again. Much thanks.

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